How to Support Healthy Sleep While Grieving
When you lose someone you love, your nights can feel long, restless, and full of memory. Sleep may no longer come easily, and you may feel frustrated by your body’s resistance. But grief is not a failure of your body or mind it is part of learning to live in a new reality. As Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor writes, “Grief emerges as distress, caused by the absence of a specific person who filled one’s attachment needs and therefore was part of one’s identity and way of functioning in the world.” Goodreads
Grief reshapes the brain’s expectations, its sense of what is safe, familiar, and possible. O’Connor points out that “grief is a heart-wrenchingly painful problem for the brain to solve … your loved one is simultaneously gone and also everlasting.” Goodreads In other words, your brain is trying to hold two truths: that your person is no longer here, and that they remain deeply present. That tension can make rest difficult.
Below are practices that many find helpful in creating space for rest—approaches that honor your body, your grief, and your hope for gentler nights. Use what resonates, try small things, and always check with your healthcare provider before introducing supplements, herbs, or new treatments.
Gentle Rituals + Tools to Support Rest
1. Practice consistent sleep hygiene
Wake up at roughly the same time daily. Choose a wind-down time in the evening and stick with it. Your brain and body find comfort in predictability. Dim lights, turn off screens, and allow your mind and body to shift gradually into rest.
2. Use comforting cues
Wear an eye mask if darkness helps you feel safer or more relaxed.
A warm bath with Epsom salt can soothe muscles and support relaxation.
Use a gentle sleep lotion—in a scent you find comforting—as part of your bedtime ritual.
3. Try magnesium (safely)
Some people find magnesium—taken orally or via a bath—supports relaxation. If you use it, choose forms known to have good absorption, and discuss with your provider to avoid interactions or overuse.
4. Use self-releasing melatonin with care
Melatonin can help reset sleep rhythms for some people. Use low doses and short term, under guidance.
5. Explore calming herbs like passionflower
Passionflower is known for its calming properties. In some clinical trials, passionflower extract improved total sleep time. But always start gently and talk with a provider before using herbal supplements.
6. Sip a gentle sleep tea
Choose herbal, caffeine-free teas like chamomile, valerian, or blends designed for nighttime. Let the act of sipping be part of your ritual, signaling rest.
7. Consider acupuncture
Some find acupuncture helpful for regulating the nervous system, easing tension, and supporting better sleep. It can be a gentle complement—if it feels safe and accessible.
How to Try These Practices Responsibly
Introduce one change at a time, rather than a bundle all at once.
Track how you sleep and how you feel—notice small shifts.
Be patient. Grief is learning. As O’Connor says, “Grieving requires the difficult task of throwing out the map we have used to navigate our lives together and transforming our relationship with this person who has died.” Goodreads
If sleep disruption is severe or persists over months, reach out to a medical professional or sleep specialist.
Final Thought
You deserve rest even in grief. Every small act you offer your body matters. Sleep is not an expectation you must meet perfectly. It is a gentle practice of care. Be patient with yourself as your brain, heart, and body learn how to live without the one you loved so deeply.