Is There a Right Time to Clean Out Your Loved One’s Belongings?

Grief is deeply personal, and so is the decision about when or if you are ready to clean out your loved one’s belongings. The truth is, there is no universal “right” time. Everyone’s timeline looks different, and what feels right for one person might feel overwhelming for another.

If you have the luxury, I encourage you not to make sudden decisions within the first year. The early months of grief can feel foggy and disorienting, and it is easy to make choices you might wish you’d done differently later. Trust that your body and heart will tell you when you are ready.

Sometimes readiness shows up quietly. You might wake up one morning feeling the urge to declutter, starting with something small like the medicine cabinet, only to realize you are naturally including a few of their items. Other times, it is a more intentional choice.

If you are feeling torn about letting something go, set it aside for now. Revisit it in six months. When in doubt, keep it, especially if there is no practical reason forcing you to clear things out quickly.

And please, release the pressure of what others might think. You are the one walking through this loss, not them. Your process is yours alone.

Some ideas for navigating decisions:

• If their cologne in the bathroom brings you comfort, keep it.

• If their shoes by the front door triggers deep sadness, store them away.

• If photos make you feel connected, keep them displayed.

• If wearing their shirt to bed helps you feel close, wear it.

• If their favorite ice cream in the freezer feels like a painful reminder, toss it.

There is no “correct” choice, only the choice that feels right for you. The guiding questions to ask yourself are:

• Does this make me feel comforted?

• Does this upset me?

• Does this hold me back?

Grief is not about following a set of rules. It is about creating space, physically and emotionally, that supports your healing in your own time.