Top 3 Therapy Modalities for Working with a Grieving Client
Grief is a deeply personal and complex experience that can affect individuals emotionally, physically, and mentally. While there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to grief therapy, several evidence-based modalities have proven effective in helping clients process their loss and move toward healing. Below are three of the most effective therapy modalities for supporting grieving clients.
1. Grief Counseling (Companioning Model)
The Companioning Model, developed by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, shifts the focus from "treating" grief to walking alongside the griever as they process their emotions. Unlike traditional therapy models that aim to “fix” grief, this approach honors the uniqueness of each person’s loss and encourages clients to integrate grief into their lives rather than "getting over" it.
Key Principles of Companioning:
Listening more than advising
Honoring emotions instead of suppressing them
Creating a safe space for self-exploration
Encouraging rituals, storytelling, and meaning-making
How It Helps:
This model is particularly effective for clients who feel misunderstood in their grief journey. By offering validation and nonjudgmental support, clients can express their emotions freely and find new ways to carry their loved one’s memory forward.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Grief
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a structured, goal-oriented approach that helps grieving clients identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that may be worsening their distress. While grief itself is not a disorder, some individuals develop maladaptive thoughts such as:
“I should have done more to prevent their death.”
“I’ll never be happy again.”
“Moving forward means forgetting them.”
CBT helps clients reframe these thoughts and replace them with healthier, more balanced perspectives.
CBT Techniques for Grief:
Cognitive restructuring – Identifying and reframing irrational beliefs
Behavioral activation – Encouraging meaningful activities to reduce avoidance and isolation
Exposure therapy – Gradually facing grief-related triggers to build emotional resilience
How It Helps:
CBT is particularly useful for clients experiencing complicated grief, where they feel stuck in intense sadness, guilt, or avoidance. By addressing unhelpful thought patterns, clients can learn to navigate their grief in a way that promotes healing.
3. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for Grief and Trauma
For clients who have experienced traumatic grief—such as sudden, violent, or unexpected loss—EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be an effective approach. Originally developed to treat PTSD, EMDR helps clients process distressing memories and reduce their emotional intensity.
How EMDR Works:
The therapist guides the client through bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping) while they recall distressing memories.
This process helps the brain reprocess the trauma, allowing the client to integrate the loss in a way that feels less overwhelming.
How It Helps:
Reduces the emotional charge of painful memories
Helps resolve unresolved guilt, shock, or fear
Supports clients in creating a new, less distressing narrative around their loss
EMDR is especially helpful for clients who feel stuck in the trauma of the loss—such as those who witnessed a distressing event or experienced a sudden death of a loved one.
Additional Resources
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, the following books and websites provide additional support and guidance:
Book: The Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing by Dr. Alan Wolfelt – A compassionate guide to understanding and moving through grief using the Companioning Model.
Book: It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine – A powerful book that challenges society’s expectations around grief and offers support for those in mourning.
Website: The Center for Loss & Life Transition – Resources and articles by Dr. Alan Wolfelt on grief support.
Website: EMDR International Association – Information on EMDR therapy, how it works, and finding a certified EMDR therapist.
Final Thoughts
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and therapy should be tailored to the unique needs of each client. While some individuals benefit from the Companioning Model’s emotional validation, others may need the structured approach of CBT or the trauma-processing power of EMDR. A skilled therapist will assess which modality—or combination of modalities—best supports their client’s healing process.
Seeking professional guidance can provide the support needed to navigate grief and find meaning beyond the loss. If you're looking for grief therapy, reaching out to a licensed professional is an important step toward healing.