The photos of her and I closer to the end of her life, had run out. It feels really symbolic to the grief journey. At first there are many recent pictures to rummage through, maybe you just took one together the week before. After some time of looking through the same photos they start to feel old, like a chapter you've read over and over again but you still read it. Then with no specific time line, all of a sudden you realize that the pictures have run out and there will not be new ones. Ever. You only have old ones to hold, to recall on, to spark your memory.

What I wish I could have said 10 years ago with a clearer mind and more time,

When we knew we were losing you and we had to say goodbye,

While you sat there pouring out your heart, and I sat there falling fast apart,

You could see past the tears and into my future, knowing how much would change,

I couldn’t see past our holding hands, knowing all I wanted was to turn life’s page.

What I wish I could have said 10 years ago with a clearer mind a more time…

They say when you marry a person, you marry their whole family. I believe when you marry someone you also marry their grief.

Compassionate Friends conducted a study in 2006 stating, “72 percent of parents who were married at the time of their child’s death are still married to the same person. The remaining 28 percent included 16 percent in which one spouse had died, and 12 percent of marriages had ended in divorce.” 

REGARDLESS OF HOW STRONG THEY APPEAR, BE READY TO ASSIST THEM.

I’ve learned to ask questions, at the right moments. So I asked her if there was something she needed from me, which may sound silly but by asking we were both able to understand where we were each coming from.

I expected the loss of Dad would be different in the experience of what I call the “orphan syndrome.” That’s what occurs when you are a child, even an adult child, who has lost both parents. I have definitely felt the loss of both parents now in a way that has an entirely different emphasis than when we lost Mom, and still had Dad.

One thing I would encourage you in as you prep for Father’s Day is being mindful of your body. Notice how you feel physically. Notice any tension, tightness. Are you clenching your teeth resulting in holding stress in your jaw?

One of the most common things I hear people grieve after they experience the death of their loved one, is not being able to call them. It’s the weirdest feeling.

When it comes to death and grief, people often say to “think of the good times,” or “cherish the memories.” But what if you didn’t get the chance to know your loved one? What do you do when there aren’t any good times or memories to help you cope with your loss? How do you grieve a relationship you never got to have?

Something new and exciting happens and the words “I can’t wait to tell my mom” are on the tip of my tongue. But, it’s been a few years since she passed, I thought I’ve worked through this!

DIY Christmas ornament to make in honor of your loved one who has passed away.

Every week I try to incorporate something that reminds me of her and allows me to share her with them.

How to show you care to your grieving friend.

A “death-iversary” is an awkward day and a painful reminder. Every year will feel different, and every year that day will come.

An album to store photos, memories and letters and your deceased loved one.

A creative outlet to feel close to your loved one.